Trading Shots: On the strange pleasure of watching friends become enemies

Urijah Faber

In this week’s Trading Shots, MMAjunkie columnist Ben Fowlkes and retired UFC/WEC fighter Danny Downes look at the dust-up surrounding T.J. Dillashaw’s split from Team Alpha Male, and the ensuing fallout among former friends and teammates.

Fowlkes: Danny, by now I’m sure you’ve become aware of the bitter public breakup going on up in Northern California at Team Alpha Male. T.J. Dillashaw is out, Urijah Faber is mad (bro), and Duane Ludwig is mostly just acting weird about it.

Clearly, this is high drama in the fight business. But does it seem strange to you that MMA fans, whether they want to admit it or not, reacted as if this were all great news? Now Dillashaw and Faber can fight! Plus there are famous fighters who are mad at each other, and speaking ill of one another in public! All stuff we love.

Does it make us bad people that we so often treat the lives of fighters as if they are flesh-and-blood soap operas for our entertainment? Because I have to admit, I would totally watch Dillashaw and Faber fight, though not just because I think it’s an interesting clash of styles.

Downes: I don’t know if it makes you bad people, but you’re definitely enjoying the misery of others. I’m sure there are some people genuinely excited over a potential fight between Faber and Dillashaw. I’ll even admit that I think it would be a great fight. Unfortunately, I think those people are in the minority. I think the majority of the excitement is driven by the drama. It’s like slowing down to see a car accident, only this time we know the long personal history between the two drivers.

I’m sure there’s a bit of Schadenfreude at work, too. Faber does have a lot of fans, but he also has what some might call “haters.” He’s a former champion, a photographer, author and artist. He admires Abraham Lincoln and hates mayonnaise. (Come to think of it, maybe this is a smear campaign from the powerful mayo lobby.)

Plus, some people just dislike Team Alpha Male in general, so watching it deteriorate is a pleasure.

On every fight team there are a lot of personalities at play. Some teams are close friends, others are strictly business. Team Alpha Male seems like a squad of good friends. They hang out together, do radio shows together. They create Fight Club tribute calendars together.

You can say it’s “just business” for Dillashaw to leave the team, but that’s not true. When someone leaves your team, you take it personally. You feel like the departing teammate is saying, “You guys aren’t good enough, so I need someone better.” How many happy breakups have you ever had? Now imagine that playing out in the public sphere.

Where do you stand on this Ben? Do you have a Team Faber or Team Dillashaw sleeveless shirt hanging in your closet? Or are you just happy watching the first family of bros experiencing hardship?

Fowlkes: Honestly, I find it tough to choose sides. I can see both guys’ points. Dillashaw sees a chance to pad his bank account and work with his preferred coach, so I can’t hate him for looking out for No. 1 in a notoriously selfish sport. At the same time, Faber might feel hurt and a little betrayed, which would also make sense.

Faber is the grandaddy of this thing, the guy everyone on the team looks to. He’s also one of the best fighters to never hold a UFC title, and here he is at the helm of a team that, prior to Dillashaw, had a lot of good fighters but no UFC champions. Now the one guy who broke that mold is leaving for greener pastures. How is that not supposed to sting a little bit?

What I wonder is how it would really feel for us to see these two fight. On one hand, it’s an interesting match-up, and the whole friends-become-enemies angle is one we can’t resist (ask Jon Jones and Rashad Evans). On the other hand, these situations always make me feel like a kid standing around the jungle gym, coaxing two recent friends into a fight they don’t necessarily want.

I also wonder, do these two already feel like they know how the fight would play out? In your experience, Danny, does gym sparring tell you everything you need to do about who would beat who in an actual fight? And come on, you can’t tell me teammates aren’t playing that game in their own heads all the time, right? Even if they’re lying to themselves.

Downes: You have to be careful about keeping score in the gym. Our coaches would always warn us that, “you don’t win sparring.” When you have that mindset, you’re less likely to try new things or experiment with what you’re weak at. You get so caught up in trying to win that you ultimately do yourself a disservice.

Having said that, you know damn well all fighters keep score. That still doesn’t necessarily mean that how they sparred in practice would determine how an actual fight turned out. They may know each other’s tendencies, but a fight is a whole different situation, with so many different variables.

Faber and Dillashaw may have sparred one another, but they’ve never fought one another. Besides the obvious factors of headgear and shin pads, there are some things that you never do in training. Take knee strikes, for instance. One of the biggest faux pas you can commit in a gym is to throw a straight knee during sparring. If you throw a knee at 100 percent force, that’s the quickest way to get yourself kicked out. You also never throw elbows, because you worry about cutting a guy before a fight.

You’re right that we love grudge matches. And too often these personal slights seem kind of petty. Look at this botched fist bump! Now they hate one another!

But there are real feelings in play here. Maybe that’s why it feels kind of awkward. Listening to Conor McGregor talk trash feels empty because it’s just a cash grab. Chael Sonnen was entertaining because his talk was so ludicrous, and also such an obvious work.

Listening to two guys insult one another can be funny. Watching someone else’s family argument is more likely to be very uncomfortable. At the end of most fights, the two competitors hug each other and bury the hatchet. But in this case, fighting won’t solve everything.

Ben Fowlkes is MMAjunkie and USA TODAY’s MMA columnist. Danny Downes, a retired UFC and WEC fighter, is an MMAjunkie contributor who also writes for UFC.com and UFC 360. Follow them on twitter at @benfowlkesMMA and @dannyboydownes.