New rule: If you miss weight, you don't get to act like a jerk when you win

The sequence of events went a little something like this: On Friday morning in Portland, Ore., Alex Oliveira showed up for the official UFC Fight Night 96 weigh-ins more than five pounds over the contracted weight for his co-main event bout against Will Brooks.

The following evening, in an FS1-televised co-headliner at Moda Center, he spent the better part of 15 minutes trying to embed Brooks into the chainlink fence of the octagon before finally taking him down and punching him in the head until referee Herb Dean stopped it.

Immediately thereafter, Oliveira (16-3-1 MMA, 5-2 UFC) stood over Brooks (19-2 MMA, 1-1 UFC) and made a series of insulting gestures that looked like something you’d expect to see if you cut off a pro wrestler in traffic.

It would have been a questionable way to celebrate even in the best of circumstances. But after Oliveira didn’t even come close to making weight it just seemed – what’s the word I’m looking for – stupid?

Yes, stupid. Let’s go with that. It’s as good a description as any for flouting the rules, forcing your opponent into a crappy situation, then explaining away your celebration by saying you were just mad that your opponent had dared to get upset about it.

In fact, it’s stupid enough that I think we need a new rule: If you miss weight for your fight, you don’t get to be a jerk about it if you win.

Obviously, we want to punishment to fit the crime, so I recommend a sliding scale for overweight post-fight celebrations.

Take John Lineker, for instance. He missed weight by half a pound, and then won a narrow split decision over Jon Dodson in the main event and celebrated by jumping up on top of the cage. Under normal circumstances, no problem. That never fails to annoy the commission people, but so what? They always looks miserable anyway.

But Lineker (29-7 MMA, 10-2 UFC) did miss weight for his bout with Dodson (18-8 MMA, 7-3 UFC), albeit only slightly. Our new rule can still allow him the leeway of a celebration, but perhaps it should require him to do so with both feet on the floor. Consider it a reminder that, even if it was just barely, one of these men didn’t hold up his end of the deal.

Because, while post-fight celebrations might be relatively minor, missing weight has the potential to be a pretty big deal, not to mention a pretty bad one for the other guy.

Consider the plight of Brooks. He was asked to fight an opponent who was more than five pounds over the limit, which had to have made him consider how nice it would have been to stop his own weight cut when he was still five pounds out, rather than suffering the rest of the way.

If he’d said no to the bout under these terms, he would have been buried by the Internet commentariat, since a certain segment of MMA fans loves nothing so much as they love to accuse professional tough guys of being cowardly wimps. Brooks pretty much had to take the fight, and Oliveira knew it. He counted on it.

The result was Brooks’ first loss since coming to the UFC, and only the second defeat of his career. Though, let’s not get carried away. We can’t say for sure that the extra five pounds decided the outcome of the fight. For all we know, Oliveira would have won this even if he’d made it all the way down to 155 pounds.

But Brooks still has to wonder. He also has to wonder if, when performing the tortured mental calculus to determine his worth as a fighter somewhere down the line, company executives and MMA fans alike will remember that his first loss as a UFC lightweight came against a welterweight who showed up heavy.

Even with 20 percent of Oliveira’s money in his pocket, how is he not supposed to feel cheated? Every loss sets a fighter back. It hurts his career. And then on top of that he’s got to watch Oliveira channeling Antonin Scalia and Triple H in his post-fight celebration?

I say no. You don’t get to do that, Oliveira. You have forfeited that right, at least for this one.

After all, without Brooks saying yes to a fight that he could have, at least technically, said no to, Oliveira would have had no bout and no paycheck. If anything, he owes Brooks after that fight.

He probably owes him more than the 20 percent of his show money he paid out in fines for his infraction, if we’re being honest. Maybe a good way to pay him back is to let him keep his dignity after the loss. You know, the way he let you keep those extra five pounds.

And for more on UFC Fight Night 96, check out the UFC Events section of the site.