Team Canada blog: Kajan Johnson on 'TUF Nations,' episode No. 2

Well, I won and it’s still early, so asked myself, “What would Lil Wayne do? He’d pop bottles, baby!” So I popped a bottle. Red wine, of course, because it’s much better for you than champagne and I still got another fight, right?

It’s a little weird in the house because were celebrating the Aussies’ defeat right in front of them. I wasn’t worried about it too much though. I’m doing me, no disrespect. Team Canada was in the middle of making a beast feast when Nordine Taleb overheard Elias Theodorou talking to the other team in the hot tub. Nordine, being the beast of a man that he is, called a team meeting. He wanted to dissuade us from giving away info. He saw that they were attempting to get buddy-buddy with us in order to get info from us on our fighting styles, records, etc. They asked him, and he told them he was a wrestler! “I’ve wrestled my whole life.” So amazing.

I personally didn’t care what they knew about me. I felt as if anything they knew would only scare them. I’ve got 30 fights. I’m a brown belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu and a pro boxer. I’ve been training muay Thai for 12 years and wrestling for seven or eight. I felt like I didn’t have any weaknesses, so it didn’t matter what they knew.

The next day was awesome. We had Vitor “Shaolin” Ribiero come in as a guest coach to show us some of his jiu-jitsu game. Now for any of you that don’t know, this guy is an arm-triangle assassin! As soon as I heard he was coming, I began praying, “Please show us the arm triangle. Please show us the arm triangle,” and once again it worked! He showed us his famous arm-triangle choke. The details I learned from him were priceless. It was so good that me and Olivier Aubin-Mercier actually had to stop because my brain was getting way too fuzzy. I don’t think it’s good to get choked that many times, ya feel me? I need my brain.

So we get back from training and the issue of cleanliness is starting to arise more and more. A couple of our guys cleaned the kitchen like crazy the night before to restore it to a sanitary level because it’s becoming apparent that the Aussie team ain’t that clean. Now I know it’s not all of them but some of ‘em (Jake Matthews and Tyler Manawaroa, at least) don’t know how to clean up after themselves. This is a huge pet peeve of mine because I like to cook, and there’s nothing worse then having to clean someone else’s mess and then cook and then clean your mess. I did enough of that while living at the Tristar Dorms. I ain’t trying to be a maid.

The Aussies get home after their training session and were sitting on the couch. Well, I’m sleeping on the couch, and they must feel the tension that the cleaning issue has brought on. Brendan O’Reilly asks Nordine “Are you good?” Nordine replies “If I’m not good, you’ll know!” Nordine is such a gangster; he don’t play no games. He thinks they are trying to poke at him to ruffle his feathers and shake him up. I swear he loves this s–t. I woke up from my nap because I thought it might get a little crazy, and I didn’t want to miss that. Fortunately for the Aussies, Nordine kept his cool. Well, at least for now.

I think its crazy that Zein Saliba is saying he doesn’t know anything about Elias. Our team was very well informed about him and everyone that we fought. It seems like Kyle Noke is slacking on the homework part of the coaching job, if you ask me. Elias is 8-0. You can’t tell me that there isn’t video of him on the Internet somewhere. Elias always fights the same. He’s a grinder, a pressure fighter. I could find that out in five minutes on the Internet. I really can’t believe that they were this clueless.

It’s weigh-in day, and Elias makes his weight like a champ. I spent a little bit of his weight cut with him, keeping him company, and thank God he can eat again. If you think he talks a lot normally, he’s 10 times worse when he’s cutting. As soon as his cheeks sink in and his eyes get all bulgy, it’s like he loses anything that might have resembled a filter. He will tell you anything. I hope if he ever does get a girlfriend, he’s either really faithful or never cuts weight near her because he’ll tell her everything!

The staredown after the weigh-in was hilarious! Zein was trying to be all hard, mean-mugging Elias, and Elias just gave him the tiger growl: “Rawr.” Not once, not twice, but three times! I was dying! I think it’s hilarious when people think they can win the fight in the staredown. If the person is weak enough mentally that you can break them by mean-mugging them, you’d whoop that ass anyways. Just do yourself a favor: Save it for the fight.

That night, after weigh-ins, the coaches came by and brought a nutritionist. Now if you don’t know, I went to culinary school, so I know food. I’ve worked with nutritionists in the past, as well, but it’s always good to listen and see if you can pick up some new tips. I learned some good things, like changing from low carbs – i.e. sweet potato, quinoa – to high carbs – i.e. potato, rice – shortly after weigh-ins. That was cool, and I was like, “This guy knows what he’s talking about,” until he said, “One hour before your fight, eat a Snickers.” Ummm, that’s poison, thanks. I don’t want to put a bunch of chemicals and who knows what else into my body right before I need it to perform. Its all good though – to each their own right?

After dinner, we decided not to clean the kitchen because they had left all their dishes out before we started, and we didn’t want to just go and clean up all their stuff AGAIN. We had tried to clean everything for them to show them what condition the kitchen should be left in, but obviously that didn’t work. So maybe they need a taste of their own medicine. You want to cook? Well clean the whole kitchen first. How do you like it!?

It’s fight day and Team Canada is ready and hungry for another win. Just by listening to Patrick Cote in the back room, you can tell how good of a coach he is. He gives specific and detailed instruction to Elias. He’s definitely done his homework on the Aussie team and has an intimate knowledge of each guy and their game. We were all hyped and amped in the change room. It was really good energy. Our team has such a sick vibe.

Elias and Zein enter the cage. Elias looks a lot bigger than his opponent does. It doesn’t look good for poor Zein. The ref says fight, and they come together. Elias lands a low kick and a couple jabs and then bullies Zein onto the fence, where he is kept for the majority of the round. Zein attempts to throw some elbows and bodyshots with his back on the fence but its to no avail. Elias seems much to strong for him and is able to impose his will. Elias gets a couple takedowns and continues to grind because thats what he does. They should’ve known the fight would go like this. Definitely a coaching error.

I got a little scared for a second because Zein had his arm wrapped around Elias’ neck, and he could have hit a nasty guillotine, but thank God he switched grips and went for a DDT or something weird. I guess that’s Australian jiu-jitsu. That’s a huge error, and it looks like Elias is going to continue to make him pay for it. Elias gets up and gets another big slam off of a high crotch to end the round. Listening to the corner, it doesn’t seem like they have a plan do deal with Elias’ game. Zein is told to raise his underhook if he gets it and if he gets space to pop off some strikes. In my opinion, they needed Elias on his back. That’s the only way Zein was going to be able to implement his game.

Second round, Zein throws a flying elbow off the hop. Now that’s probably the best way to get taken down. Luckily for him, Elias just gets under it and doesn’t hit the takedown. He does, however, throw a couple kicks and push him back on the fence, where he drops for a double-leg takedown and gets yet another slam. Elias is in full guard now, not doing much but enough not to get stood up. He’s throwing a bit of ground and pound here and there, but he keeps grinding like the grinder he is. In this round, the level of Australian jiu-jitsu is really exposed. Zein throws a couple half-assed subs at Elias, but they are just Hail Mary attempts – no real set-up, no second attack when the first one is defended.

Zein is a nice guy and I like him, but the fact is his country is behind when it comes to jiu-jitsu. The whole time the fight is happening, I was really taking note of this. Elias ends up getting three-quarters mount and then side control and then front headlock, and he rolls Zein with some weird guillotine roll. Elias ends up making a mistake though and gives up an underhook, letting Zein get to his back. Zein jumps on but once again makes a technical error and falls off the top. He had like a minute left in the fight, and he got the most dominant position in the game! He could’ve finished but screwed up and fell off. Elias gets on top and goes back to mount. He makes a mistake and gets rolled into guard, but it’s too late for Zein to do anything, and the bell rings. Two rounds to nothing, Elias grinds out the decision.

Our team is elated after the second win. We – well at least I – felt like we were unbeatable. I truly believed we would sweep the season and go 8-0. I start chanting again, “Canada! Canada! Canada!” Partly because I’m proud of my team but also because I want to be in their heads. I want them to have nightmares about our team and wake up screaming, “Canada!”

We keep control and decide to try and mess with them a little bit. We all act like Oli is gonna be fighting, and he goes out to the middle of the mat. Cote, though, calls Chad Laprise‘s name out, and Oli does the best/worst moonwalk ever back off the mat. Chad is gonna fight Chris Indich, another grappler.

I really thought there would be more strikers on their team. Indich is yet another, “throw hooks, push you to the fence, take you down” type of fighter. Booorinnggggg!! Where’s all the smashers? That being said, Indich is Aboriginal, so he has warrior blood in his veins. I doubt Chad will be able to knock him out, but he should be able to stuff the takedowns and light him up on the feet. I think this should be another win in the bank for Team Canada, but you’re going to have to tune in next week to find out.

Thanks for reading guys. It’s pretty cool that anyone cares what I have to say. Before I go I want to shout out my sponsors http://www.eon4life.com and my Twitter, @iamragin. See you guys next week for the next smash. Peace!

“TUF Nations” cast member “Ragin” Kajan Johnson (19-10-1) blogs each week exclusively for MMAjunkie. The Team Canada welterweight takes readers behind the scenes of the FOX Sports 1-broadcast series, which airs Wednesdays at 10 p.m. ET. Catch Johnson on Twitter at @iamragin and check out his official website at www.raginmma.com.