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Mike Perry violates social contract, mocks Kelvin Gastelum for Facebook friend request


You know what separates humans from the beasts of the field? Well, opposable thumbs, sure. But also a little something called decency. We establish and respect certain codes of conduct and decorum.

Some of us do, anyway. Then there are others, such as Mike Perry, who apparently don’t respect a single thing.

If he did, then how do you explain this move? Confronted with a Facebook friend request from fellow UFC fighter Kelvin Gastelum, Perry not only failed to accept – he public shamed the man for extending the offer of e-friendship to begin with (via Facebook):

OK, first of all let’s go ahead and admit that “I told y’all I didn’t come here to make friends” is actually a pretty funny response. It is, much like Perry’s whole deal, a reality show ethos carried to its absurd but logical conclusion as a way of life.

But come on, Mike. We know this is the brutal world of professional cage fighting and all, but what if you accidentally made a friend? Is that the worst thing that could happen? And if you don’t want to be his friend, hey, that’s fair. Just treat him like the rest of us treat those former coworkers who we never liked in the first place, and quietly gloss over the request like it’s not even there.

Plus, you don’t know what you’re missing out on. Maybe Gastelum has some great memes on his page that you’d really enjoy. We’ve all accepted the request of someone we didn’t initially regard as a “friend,” only to end up four months later liking and commenting on “The New Yorker” story they just posted. That could have been you, Mike!

The really sad part here is, after Perry publicly blasted Gastelum’s friend request, Gastelum had to get on Twitter and play it off like it was just a joke anyway:

Pfft, you thought I was really asking you to prom? No way, it was a goof. Just something my friends put me up to. They said it would be hilarious, and I was like, LOL whatever I don’t even care.

Then you go and cry in the stairwell.

Point is, here’s an interaction that degrades the humanity of all parties involved. Gastelum summons the courage to extend his digital hand in friendship, and Perry not only swats it away, but makes a mockery of the effort, which in turn forces Gastelum to flee from and deny his own desire for friendship, a desire that is natural and indeed human.

And thus, the world gets just a little darker, a little colder. Huddling scared and alone in our caves at night, we can only wonder what the world would be like if we really did come here to make friends.

The Blue Corner is MMAjunkie’s blog space. We don’t take it overly seriously, and neither should you. If you come complaining to us that something you read here is not hard-hitting news, expect to have the previous sentence repeated in ALL CAPS.

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