“50 Shades of Grey” has finally made the transition to film after starting life as a “Twilight” fanfic series and then becoming its own bestselling series of novels, filled with mixed metaphors and tales of “sphinx-like smiles” and “thirst-quenching and refreshing orange juice.”
While the books were poorly received – once leading Sir Salman Rushdie to say, “I’ve never read anything so badly written that got published. It made ‘Twilight’ look like ‘War and Peace'” – they became a cultural phenomenon, leading to the highly anticipated (by some) Valentine’s Day weekend release date for the film.
The film has followed in the footsteps of the books, drawing $87.1 million over its opening weekend despite sporting a paltry 26 percent score at Rotten Tomatoes.
Recently retired UFC fighter Yves Edwards recently posted his own review of the movie on Facebook after going with his wife – and eventually walking out – and may have perfectly captured the experience of the film with a single passage.
“I have paid money to sit in a movie theater and watch garbage that is simultaneously destroying my brain cells, perpetuating the Prince Charming myth, decreasing my faith in humanity and portraying women as irrational and incompetent,” Edwards wrote. “I am negatively multitasking on a cosmic level.”
Here’s the full review:
His review is like warm and husky like dark melted chocolate fudge caramel… or something.
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