Team Tate blog: Chris Holdsworth on 'The Ultimate Fighter 18,' episode No. 3

Looking at this week’s episode No. 3, team morale was high coming off the first win for the team. We could tell that Ronda Rousey put her team through hell afterward because they all came back to the house pretty tired. I could tell their whole team was going to be taking things a little more seriously as they tried to win the next matchup.

Now, here’s something I have to say about this episode. I’m getting a little tired of hearing abut Chris Beal‘s hurt hand. He was medically cleared to fight. His knuckles or hand may have been bruised, but we had Tim Gorman, whose hamstring tore off his bone, and he didn’t say one word. He went out there and fought his heart out, and unfortunately the doctor thought it wouldn’t be a good idea to continue, but then we’ve got a whole episode where Chris is complaining about his hand.

I understand injuries are part of the game, but I wasn’t 100 percent either, and I didn’t say one thing. I didn’t want anyone to know I was hurt. I just think they kind of played that up into Team Rousey’s favor to make it look like we’re picking on the guys that are injured, but this is a competition. We’re trying to take out their guys the best way possible, and if we hear a rumor around the house that his hand is hurt? My coaches thought that would be the best matchup for the first round. I’m just tired of hearing about the hand. Don’t take credit away from me for going out there and doing my job and what I had to do.

Obviously you guys got to see a lot about my background, including my history with my brother. It’s definitely one of those things that a lot of people didn’t know I had gone through, and it is kind of hard to bring it up, but I know why I’m doing this, and he was a big inspiration for me. I remember trying to hide in his big gear bag when I was 3 or 4 years old and trying to get him to take me to kickboxing class. I remember trying on all of his gear and thinking I was a tough guy. My brother was a big part of my life growing up. He babysat us, and every time somebody would mess with me or something, he always had my back. It’s hard sometimes to bring it up, and they kept bringing it up because they want the story to come out, but it was good to express my feelings and let everybody know my story. I hope everyone enjoyed and saw where I was coming from.

It was also crazy that Chris Beal had a similar story with his brother being shot to death, too. Our stories are kind of similar, and I think it at least makes for a good story and an interesting build-up to the fight.

After the emotional moments, they showed me and Julianna Pena togther. What can I say? She was a cool girl. We hit it off good from the start. Right away, like the first night, she made food for everybody, and she was real cool with me. We were on the same team, and everybody started getting kind of annoyed with her. She would go into our bathroom and use our bathroom to put on make-up, and I had no problem with it, but some of the guys like Anthony Gutierrez and those guys made a sign for the bathroom that said, ‘Keep Julianna out,’ and they all signed it. Of the five guys in the room, I was the only one who didn’t sign that piece of paper.

She’s a cool girl. I think she has a lot of talent, and I like her attitude. I think everyone can be a little annoying, at times, especially in that situation of being locked down and having to fight a few times – just having the cameras on you. I got a kick out of seeing us talk though. I thought it was hilarious. Hopefully everyone got a little chuckle out of it. I’m sure I’ll get some wrath online, but I think it was just typical guys’ locker room talk.

When I showed everyone the letter, I had just gotten it and was like, “Hey, check this out.” I thought it was very cool of her to write it for me, but there were some things I thought the guys would get a kick out of. I wasn’t trying to make fun of her or throw her under the bus or anything like that. I just thought it was a good time to show everybody that, and we all got a good laugh out of it.

It was great to get out of the house and go watch the UFC and not be locked down. Unfortunately, that was the day before weigh-ins, so I was in cut mode already. They had tons of good food. They had the best-looking cookies, and I was just walking by and smelling the aroma while my mouth was watering. Some people were just going to town and not really worrying about their weight or what it was going to do to their body.

When the drama happened, I didn’t really know what was going on. At one point, I just kind of stood in a corner and thought, “All right, let’s get this over with. I’m ready to get to bed.” I just wanted to get the weigh-ins done. But I guess Miesha and Ronda got into it. I think everyone had been drinking a little bit. Edmond Tarverdyan might have had a few cocktails, and he was being a little mouthy with Bryan Caraway. I felt like that was going to happen, and it did. And I don’t think it’s done yet, either.

As for the fight with Chris Beal, I think people just haven’t really had a chance to see my standup game. Everybody just assumes I’m a straight jiu-jitsu guy because all of my fights have been pretty much by submission. I was happy to showcase my skills in this fight. I’ve been waiting to do it. The fight to get into the house, Louis Fisette kind of rushed me and put me up against the cage and threw me off, so I didn’t get to showcase anything there, but I knew Chris was a boxer, and I think I do pretty well against boxers. I felt like I could use my range and keep him at distance.

I almost took him down once. He reversed me. I got back up and I was like, “Screw it.” I felt good. Right of the bat, when I landed the first couple jabs and a right hand, I was like, “I’ve got this. I can stand up with this guy.” Everybody had been trying to throw fear in my head, saying he was the best boxer on the team, that he trained with Victor Ortiz and this and that. Everybody was kind of hyping up his standup skills, and I went out there and implemented my gameplan. I felt good standing, and you saw what happened from there.

Once I knocked Chris down, I went for the guillotine right away. I know it’s a little risky if you miss because you give up position, but I like to look for the finish from wherever I am. Whether I’m on top or on bottom, I’m constantly looking for the finish. I knew I rocked him, so I threw a couple elbows on him, and he turned in to me with that underhook, and as soon as I wrapped his head, I knew my hand was right in the position I wanted it, right under his chin. My knee was in, and I threw my leg over the back, and he was caught.

Once you get to a high level in jiu-jitsu and grappling, you understand when you have something and when you don’t – when to waste energy on something and when to conserve energy. It was one of those types of moments where I felt like I had it. I had the position, and I went for it. I went for the kill. That’s just my mentality. I’m always looking to finish. Even if he would have popped out, I think I would have finished from my back or got back up and kept fighting.

You probably noticed that I had a little shiner after the fight. But this is the fight game. I’m not expecting to go in to a fight at this level and not come out with a scratch on me. I know I can go in there and get seriously hurt. I know my opponent can get seriously hurt. That’s just something you have in your head when you go in there.

I felt relieved after the win. Now I knew I took out the No. 1 pick. I definitely put notice into the other team’s eyes, like, “Oh, s—. This kid’s got some standup. He’s going to be a tough matchup.” Any time you can put a little fear in an opponent’s eyes, it’s a good thing, especially in the fight game. It was just one of those things where I was happy to have it over with, and now I could train and heal up a few injuries.

I actually went for a three-mile run after the fight. I’m the type of guy that if I’m not injured, I just keep grinding. That’s my mentality, and that’s how I’ve always been. I think that contributes to the success I’ve had so far.

“The Ultimate Fighter 18? cast member Chris Holdsworth (4-0) blogs each Thursday exclusively for MMAjunkie.com. The bantamweight prospect takes readers behind the scenes of the FOX Sports 1-broadcast series, which airs Wednesdays at 10 p.m. ET. Catch Holdsworth on Twitter at @holdsworth135.