Team Rousey blog: Jessica Rakoczy on 'The Ultimate Fighter 18,' episode No. 10

So with the season winding down, some of the eliminated fighters were starting to party a little bit and relax their diet. I would hang out with them a little, but I was very choosy with my food. I wasn’t partying. I was eating healthy. I’m lucky in that I don’t have to cut weight, but I was still just eating chicken and asparagus and pineapple and things like that. Basically, I was still eating healthy, but I could just eat as much as I wanted. But you have to stay focused. If you eat better, you perform better.

It wasn’t too touch for me to stay focused. I’m not like a drinker anyway, so it didn’t really bother me. I was actually glad to see everyone having fun. Everyone had been so serious and kind of boring, so it was great to see them having fun. But when it was time for me to go to bed, I separated myself because I knew I needed to get some sleep.

The trip to Harley-Davidson was fun. It felt good to get out of the house, but I almost felt kind of bad because all of my friends, the girls, were still at the house. It’s hard to have fun without the rest of your team, so it was kind of bittersweet. I still enjoyed, but we were all exhausted and focused on fighting, and of course the tension between Ronda Rousey and Miesha Tate kind of made it awkward, too.

It was great to meet Cain Velasquez, too. He wasn’t there for a long time, but we got to talk to him a little bit, so that was cool. I honestly don’t get to watch a ton of fights at home because of taking care of my son, but it’s still special to get to meet the UFC heavyweight champion. I honestly enjoy meeting all of the fighters. They’re going through the same things as you. They understand you, and there’s a mutual respect that’s really nice to see.

Nate Diaz coming by the gym was awesome. He’s very sweet and very cool. He just wanted to give us knowledge, and it was really nice to see. He was very warm, to be honest, which I guess some people might not expect. I think when people are on TV, sometimes they’re acting a little or are forced to say things that don’t always represent exactly who they are. You don’t get to know people on a personal level like that by just watching them on TV. Most of the time when you see them, they’re getting ready for a fight. Of course a little on edge.

I’m still learning a lot with jiu-jitsu, and while I was on the show I was learning something new every day. Unfortunately, I was having the problem with my shoulder, so I wasn’t able to full participate like I wanted to, but it was still awesome to learn. When Nate came by, I wasn’t feeling 100 percent, but my shoulder was starting to feel a little better.

I’ll admit I was extremely homesick at this point in the season. I was smiling when the cameras were on, but every single time I went into the trailer to talk, I’d think about my son and start crying. I was holding up in the house, but in the trailer I definitely wasn’t. That said, I would do it all again in a heartbeat. I enjoyed the experience so much. I missed my son like crazy, and that was torture for me, but the experience and meeting all the people who would come in, who has that opportunity? I was enjoying it to the utmost. I was floored, and I loved it. So I was just trying to stay mentally strong. It’s something my coaches at home had instilled in me: Your mind has to be strong; it’s mind over matter. I think through years of fighting, I just trained my brain to be strong, and that’s how I got through.

Chris Holdsworth is a great fighter, and he had a perfect fight against Michael Wooten. It was too bad because I really, really like Mike. Everybody on my team I liked – well, probably except for Anthony Gutierrez since he was kind of annoying – and we became a family, so it’s heartbreaking when somebody loses. You really feel for them. We all came there to do the same thing, and we all supported each other no matter what. Whether you win or lose, you’re still going to get love and support while you’re there. Mike took the loss really well, though, and I know he’ll be back.

Chris’ fight was actually on the last day of the season, so I had already fought when this happened. But in the days before my fight, I was happy to have the time to nurse my injured shoulder, but I was also training very hard. The coaches were compensating for my shoulder by adjusting my training routine, but I was still getting in some good work while resting the injury. The coaches really just wanted me to box, anyway, so we didn’t have to do too much else. In the short time you have on the show, they just wanted me to focus on my strengths, and that type of training was very familiar to me. Even though I needed to work on everything, with my injury, the team figured it was best to just focus on what I’m best at and look to keep it standing. Pretty soon, you’ll all find out if it worked.

“The Ultimate Fighter 18? cast member Jessica Rakoczy blogs each Thursday exclusively for MMAjunkie.com. The women’s bantamweight prospect takes readers behind the scenes of the FOX Sports 1-broadcast series, which airs Wednesdays at 10 p.m. ET.