Fowlkes' Finds: Stealing Machida's hat, and a handy Jedrzejczyk pronunciation guide

Joanna Jedrzejczyk

It takes a special kind of person to get away with uttering the phrase, “It makes me kind of mushy, baby,” when it’s not in the context of an R&B slow jam. Former UFC site coordinator Burt Watson is, apparently, just such a person.

The man who was until very recently employed as the UFC’s “babysitter to the stars” broke his silence to our own MMA Junkie Radio on Friday, mostly to say what didn’t prompt him to quit his post. So there, that’s settled. You know, sort of. Will it be enough to convince us all to stop engaging in wild speculation about who may or may not have prompted MMA’s tough but fair grandfather figure to walk out on us for good? Probably not, no, but what did you really expect?

It’s the end of another week. The things we do not know remain infinitely more interesting than those we do, and I’m ripping this format off from my good friend’s blog. Won’t you join me in examining this week’s MMA news from all corners of the Internet?

First, let’s get two things straight right now: 1) If you find yourself in court for what the New York Post describes as a “bouncer beatdown,” dude, tuck in your shirt, and 2) Seriously, look at that lineup of bad-asses, from Renzo and Igor Gracie to Leonardo Leite and Andre Gusmao, and tell me that’s not enough to convince most bouncers to quit on the spot if asked to fight them in the streets of NYC. The Gracie crew got community service for going all “Roadhouse” on the doormen at a swanky Manhattan nightclub, by the way. So a few days of picking up trash in the subway, then all is forgiven.

Speaking of Renzo Gracie, they have a 20-minute career retrospective on him over at the UFC Fight Pass. The most interesting part? Gracie claims (and Ricardo Almeida corroborates) he pioneered the technique for the arm-in guillotine in the locker room following a frustrating PRIDE fight wherein he failed to finish his favorite choke. Is that true? I have no idea, but it’s a cool enough story that I kind of want it to be.

On another note, remember when UFC President Dana White refused to say whether Invicta FC 145-pound champ Cristiane Justino had a contract with Zuffa? Well, it turns out she made $90,000 in her latest title defense at Invicta FC 11, which accounts for nearly 70 percent of the total payroll for the event. And no, that’s not usually how it works at Invicta. Make of that what you will.

You know what’s awesome about this collection of GIFs showing fans trying, and sometimes failing, to steal the sponsor hats off fighters’ heads during their walkouts? How about Lyoto Machida, who is keeping his hat, one way or another.

You know what’s awesome about this photo of Bruce Buffer stylin’ and profilin’ in the Playboy Club in the early ’80s? Everything.

If you watch just one jiu-jitsu highlight video that all but forces you to mute your speakers first, make it this one.

Remember unbeaten women’s bantamweight Joanna Jedrzejczyk? She fights at UFC 185 next weekend, so here’s a guide to pronouncing her last name. Trust me when I say this: If you want to be ready to properly talk about her by next Saturday, you’re going to want to start practicing now.